Monthly Archives: March 2012

Spoiled Brat Alert: when you’re born in Hawaii

I had to deliver a very Clark Griswold-esque speech to my daughter today. We were driving around the east side of Oahu, one of my favorite scenic spots on the island. (As you drive past Hanauma Bay, Halona blowhole, and Sandy Beach on the way to Makapuu, you’re right on the edge of these magnificent sea cliffs and crashing waves. It’s stunning.) I’ve lived in Hawaii for ten years now, and I’ve never stopped pinching myself. I’m still in complete awe at the ridiculousness of getting to live here. But for my four year old daughter, who was born here, it’s really all she knows. Anyway, the conversation went something like this:

-(Me, gasping at the splendor) Wow, look at this! Isn’t it beautiful!?!
-No.
-HEY. You should know how lucky you are to live here. It doesn’t look like this everywhere, you know. We live on a tropical island; one of the most beautiful places on Earth. People travel from all over the world to come see this place.
-Well, I don’t.

And that launched me into another spiel about not taking things for granted, appreciating what’s around you, yada yada yada. I could tell she was really taking what I said to heart – truly absorbing the wisdom from her respected elder – because she promptly swiped a toy away from her brother then launched into a few rounds of “Take Me Out to the Ballgame.”

Okay. She’s only four, and I need to be realistic. I don’t know many preschoolers who are beacons of appreciation and humble gratitude. And maybe I’m being a tad dramatic myself – she usually is excited and happy about these things, but happened to be in a cranky mood that day. But come on! There was another recent weekend when I announced we were all going to the beach, she whined in response, “The beach AGAIN?”

YES. THE BEACH AGAIN. Sometimes people ask if I get bored of the beach, living in Hawaii. The answer is no. No, clear blue water and crystal white sand and tropical breezes and swaying palm trees never get boring. But perhaps they do if you grow up with them and it’s all you know. When I first moved here, I remember several of my local friends saying “I can’t wait to get off this rock.” I thought they were insane. Insane! But will my children grow up to feel the same way?

Image

^ This view to my kids, apparently: Oh sure, Mom. Yawn.

^Me, bestowing wisdom to the ingrates.

Here’s the part where I feel sorry for myself

It’s been a horrible two weeks of caring for a sick baby, getting no sleep, missing a lot of work, and feeling like a half-ass mom and a half-ass employee. And now I need to bitch.

I know that “waahh, being a working mother is hard” is nothing new. But when it hits you hard, it hits you hard. It’s just a fact of life that during your busiest, most stressful times at work, the phone will ring and you get the dreaded call: your child is sick, and you need to go pick him up.

Your maternal instinct tells you to run there with arms open, swoop up your poor darling and nurse him back to health, like any decent child-rearin’ woman would do. Your employee instinct screams nooooooo, not today, any time but now! The meetings, the deadlines, the Very Important Project That Is Due Tomorrow! Suck it up, kid –  I just have too much shit to do.

But there is no choice. With your childless boss watching and judging, as you apologize profusely, you dump a pile of unfinished work on an unsuspecting coworker’s desk, and leave feeling even more stressed and guilty than before.

And then you pick up your poor, sick darling. Red, coughing, burning up, looking at you with sad, crusty eyes, and you think, my poor baby … and … I still need to reschedule that meeting, I still need to meet that deadline, I still need to finish that goddamn Very Important Project. So you hold your crying baby in one hand and do your best to take conference calls and return emails with the other. Shitty mom or shitty worker? I suppose I have years and years more of being mediocre at both.