If there is one phrase I use over, and over, and OVER, AND OVER A MILLION TIMES A DAY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, it’s “please stop.” I like how the “please” makes it sound polite (like, “please, good sir, do pass the croissants,”) even though most times I say it I’m either sighing with despair or hissing through gritted teeth. Here’s a few examples from just the past 24 hours or so:
Please stop licking the wall.
Please stop putting peas down your shirt.
Please stop sticking your finger up your butt.
Please stop hitting Mommy with the baseball bat.
Please stop sticking coffee beans up your nose.
Please stop dunking the chicken in the toilet.
Please stop scaring your brother with the pancakes.
I know that every other parent on Earth says crap like this all the live-long day, too. But I still find it amusing. What’s the weirdest plea you’ve ever made as a parent?